If you give me permission this is what I want to say:
I love you in a way that is beyond
a story. That makes the story look like
the joke, dream, trip, tragedy it is
when we hold it
in a way that keeps us
from the grace
of waking up
in this moment
to the fact
that we are love.
We are love.
Wake up, you are love.
Wake up. You are love
beyond the doing and planning,
the should’s, have to’s, fears.
The not being enough. The needing more.
The truth is
we are every-thing.
Creators not out of need or obligation,
It is the how and why
you were born.
The only way to heal is to realize
you don’t have to do anything!
You are just love learning
all the funny ways love teaches itself:
paranoia, neurosis, clinging
and if you’re lucky the push and pull
between the ego and the soul.
It’s just the beginnings of getting free now,
it’s ok to feel torn apart, it’s ok to scream, it’s ok
to rediscover your wholeness and cry.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
for reminding me so beautifully
that we are just the universe coming of age.
The last thing I posted was about Shakti Fest about nine months ago. Since then I’ve been on the most mind-blowing, heart-opening journeys of love, healing, and manifestation. And it actually began at Shakti Fest, though at the time I didn’t even realize it. I haven’t written much of anything since then, and now that I am sitting down to write again I am seeing that so much has happened so fast that I just haven’t had the energy and space to process through writing while it was all going down…and up, and down, and up, and…so I feel like I have a lot of catch up, a lot of reflection, and maybe just a little perspective to write through the last nine or ten months…
What I didn’t mention in the last post was that I met an amazing human being named Michael Brian Baker (www.thebreathcenter.com) at Shakti Fest. He facilitated a shamanic breath workshop that literally brought me to an experience of samadhi. So when he mentioned that he was leading a trip to Turkey, I wanted to go. But at the time I didn’t have much money for international retreats, so I asked if we could figure out some sort of work-trade agreement. He actually got in contact with me about it when we returned to LA from the desert, and that was the beginning…
i spent last weekend doing seva in the desert. i was on the green team at shakti fest, bhakti fest’s springtime counterpart, keeping the festival clean and beautiful with 6 other amazing women. mothers, nomads, farmers, athletes, students, teachers, seekers…the reflection these beautiful yoginis provided for me was inspiring, humbling, and the main teaching i received over the weekend. as these women demonstrated, a meaningful life can look a lot of different ways.
as my paradigm is shifting, i’m realizing that there is space in this world for all kinds of paths, including mine! the questions are shifting from “am i doing the right thing?” to “am i doing whatever i do with joy and love?” in meeting these women i realized that empowered women come in all shapes and sizes, from all backgrounds and walks of life. some have lovers, some don’t. some have children, some don’t. some have lots of money, some don’t. some have degrees from universities, some don’t. some are vegetarians, some are not. but all have a deep sense of gratitude, are committed to knowing and loving the world through knowing and loving themselves, and leave things better than they found them.
with the term “goddess” being thrown around a lot these days (as in the youtube video “shit new age girls say”), it’s important to remember that while astrology, crystals and flowy skirts are fun, they don’t define a goddess. the goddess energy is coming into this world through courageous women (and men!) who embody compassion, love, gentleness, strength, joy, and abundance in a way that is mindful of the interconnectedness and therefore interdependence of all beings on this planet and beyond. goddess energy is living life creatively, passionately, courageously. daring to let go and trust that when are intention is to benefit all, we will always be taken care of.
love and gratitude to the green goddess team for picking up all those bits of trash and reminding me that life is joyful, meaningful, and whatever else i want it to be.